grief loss

Living fully with loss, in the time of COVID

Living fully with loss, in the time of COVID

Can you allow yourself to grieve?

We often don’t realize that what we’re experiencing is grief; the package of thoughts, feelings, and sensations that are the natural response to loss. Our society mistakenly approves of grief only after the death of a loved one, and even then, society tells you to make your grief quiet, short, and tidy; nicely tied up in a bow after your four-day bereavement leave.

Yet, without recognizing and validating the losses other than death and the accompanying grief, we run the risk of languishing in a swamp of unsettling emotions that seem to have no cause or reason. That’s a recipe for deep depression and resignation; the very opposite of a rich, fulfilling, hope-filled life.

A diamond in the muck

A diamond in the muck

That moment with my enormous four-legged friend made me think of what I call “foxhole friends.” They’re the friends who rush to jump into the foxhole with you when the loss bombs are falling and the grief bullets are flying. Maybe you already have one of two of these godsends in your life. Maybe you ARE one of them. They’re the diamonds in the muck of life; the people who hold you up when you’re crying so hard you can’t stand, sustain you when you’re too despondent to take care of yourself.